The Inequality Of Divine Communication

This is a difficult post to write, and for some, it will be a difficult post to read. Let me say that I am choosing my words carefully here, and it is not my intent to insult or upset anyone (as far as I can prevent that), nor to establish myself as some kind of authority. As with everything else in this blog, these are my thoughts and ruminations. Your mileage may vary.

Recently, I’ve been approached by a number of people who, having read my writings and those of some of my colleagues in the spiritwork and Northern Tradition/Norse Pagan demographics, have become frustrated because the gods do not speak to them, too. They have set up altars and shrines, prayed, made offerings. They have tried hard to please the gods, tried to be sincere in their approach to the Holy Ones, and yet, for all their efforts, they receive only silence. The gods do not speak to them, the way that Loki and Hela speak to me. This often makes them feel rejected and hurt, and they come to me asking what they might be doing wrong, and if there is anything they can do to get a response from the gods they desperately want to hear.

The answer is no. There isn’t. There is nothing that guarantees anybody, no matter how faithful or observant, that the gods will reveal Themselves directly and speak to the believer. There is no way to make Loki or Odin or Sekhmet or Cerridwen or any other god or goddess respond, if that deity is not inclined to do so. The painful fact is that the gods do not treat all of us equally, in this sense. And I hate to tell people this when they contact me, asking why nothing they do seems to make a difference. I’ll be the first to admit that it seems unfair. I hate to even write about it, partly because I remember what it was like to be in this position, and partly because I am keenly aware of my relative privilege as someone who does hear the voices of the Holy Ones, when it pleases Them to speak to me.

That’s the key: when it pleases Them. As a hard polytheist who believes that these holy powers are living, conscious entities with wills and personalities of Their own, one of the hardest facts for me to accept has been that the gods do not play by our rules or acede to our sense of fairness when it comes to dealing with those who honor Them. We do all have the right to our own beliefs, but we do not have the right to have the universe reinforce those beliefs whenever we wish, nor to be treated equally by the objects of our devotion. They decide to whom They will speak. They decide whose prayers They will answer. They decide who will or will not belong to Them (note: this is not the same as deciding who may honor Them). The gods decide these things according to standards to which neither I nor any other human is privy. That’s how it is.

However, it is possible to make some educated guesses. based on my own experience and that of others I know who are in the same position, as to why the gods do not speak to all of us who wish it:

Not everyone is capable of hearing Them. This may come as an unpleasant shock for Pagans who are used to thinking of magic and spiritwork as a level playing field — but again, the freedom to practice one’s own religion does not likewise grant the ability to excel at every aspect of it. From what I can tell, the ability to see, hear, or otherwise perceive noncorporeal entities with one’s own senses is a talent with which people are born, rather than something anybody can do merely by virtue of desiring to do so. Whether or not you can do this has nothing to do with your value as a person or as a devotee. It’s more akin to having the ability to draw well, or to compete at an Olympic sport — if you haven’t got the raw talent, there is only so much you can do. And not even the gods, it seems, can always find a way to work around it when someone hasn’t got what my friend Raven semi-humorously calls a “god phone.”

Personally, I think this is the single most common reason why people cannot perceive Them in more than the vaguest of ways. It’s nothing to be ashamed over, and as I said, it is no reflection on the worthiness of the person in question. Also, having the gift doesn’t guarantee that a person will correctly interpret what they perceive, nor does it free one from self-delusion or doubt. Mental health and personal issues can get in the way of one’s “signal clarity,” as can stress, intense emotions, or illness. What being able to hear the gods and spirits does do is allow those of us with this gift an edge in our pursuit of religious and spiritual goals — but it does not automatically make us better, wiser, more valuable human beings, nor does it grant us the right to judge other people’s relationships with the Holy Ones. Anybody who says otherwise can expect an earful from me.

Sometimes, we are not a good fit for the god or goddess in question. I haven’t always been conscious of belonging to Loki. In fact, for reasons which still aren’t entirely clear to me, I spent a decade and a half searching for a patron/matron goddess and not finding one, unaware that I had already been chosen. That didn’t make my sense of frustration and rejection any easier to deal with. Nor did I get much of a response from the gods to whom I petitioned myself, at that time.  There are several deities to whom I would gladly have dedicated myself, if I’d gotten any encouragement; ironically, neither Loki nor any of the other Norse gods was even a consideration. However, I was not meant for any of Those I petitioned, as it turned out.

Getting nothing but silence from a deity might only indicate that S/He is not the right deity for you. If we accept that the gods are self-aware and have Their own standards, we must also accept that They probably know better than we do if a person is likely to benefit from serving Them closely, or is able to benefit the deity as S/He wishes. Again, this is not necessarily a question of merit. Not all gods are for all people. One of the cool things about polytheism is that we do not have to have intense, personal relationships with the entirety of our pantheon. We can choose, or be chosen by, the god(s) that best suit us and our place in the world, and so long as we pay proper respect to to the rest, nobody is going to be smited for not being best buddies with every single divine being from their tradition. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to do that, for one thing. So if there is nothing but silence in response to your entreaties, it may be that you are seeking a response from the wrong deity, at least at this point in time.

I don’t know what makes the gods respond to some people and not others, leaving aside the “god phone” issue. But just being interested in or feeling drawn towards a particular god or goddess doesn’t necessarily mean that you are Theirs. That’s not to say that your worship and sincere adoration will be spurned outright, but it may be that it’s better for you to focus that on Someone else. Have you been getting strange signs or omens that don’t seem to have anything to do with what or Whom you’ve been asking? Do you keep running across references to a particular god/dess or tradition that you think doesn’t have anything to do with you? Think again — it might be that another deity is trying to get your attention.

There is also the possibility that now is not the right time to approach that deity. The direct influence of a god in one’s life is not a trivial thing. Those who are struggling with family or relationship problems, mental or physical health concerns, instability in their job or living situation, or perhaps just the usual turbulence of adolescence or other life passages, may need to get their life in order before the relationship they seek with the god/dess is even possible, much less a good idea. Loki, in particular, has a way of affecting people’s lives as if a bomb has gone off, blowing up anything too weak or unstable to withstand the force, but this might be said of just about any deity, regardless of Their reputation. The gods are awesome and powerful, and being closer to Them will affect you in ways you cannot necessarily predict or control. This should be remembered by anybody seeking to cultivate an intense spiritual closeness to Them. And there is nothing wrong or dishonorable with deciding that that level of closeness isn’t for you, and you’d prefer to revere Them from further away.

It may be part of your wyrd to go things alone. This might be the roughest circumstance of all for a sincere seeker to accept, but it so happens that some of us, even some of those with the gift of perceiving the unseen, are required to face life and learn to be religious people without any contact with the gods we honor. There could be a number of reasons for this; it’s entirely dependent on the individual’s circumstances, but in general, I’d say it’s likely that whatever the person needs to learn in this lifetime has to be learned on their own, without the influence or aid of the gods. This may come as a relief to some and be terribly devastating to others. I myself was prepared to face life in this way, having at last resigned myself to the idea that the gods simply were not interested in me, when Loki serendipitously came to me and informed me that I was His.

Honestly, there are advantages to not being on any deity’s radar, so to speak. Those of us who do hear from the gods might get told things we don’t want to hear, like “I want you to do this incredibly inconvenient and upsetting thing for me,” or “I forbid you from doing this cool thing you want to do because…” If you are not beholden to anybody else except possibly your ancestral line, spiritually speaking, you are free to make your own choices. You can mindfully place your devotional energies wherever your heart leads you, knowing that even if you cannot rely on the gods’ influence, your words of praise are heard (more on this below.) You can forge your own path. It’s ironic that many of those who are beholden to the gods long for more freedom, while many of those who aren’t long for the surety of knowing that they are heard, but as the saying goes, the grass on the other side of the fence always looks greener.

However, where the gods are concerned, as with humans, nothing is forever unchanging. This applies to everything I’ve said above. I’m not going to say that it isn’t possible that one day, you may wake up with the ability to hear the voices of the Holy Ones. I’m not going to say that, after years of silence, you won’t get the answers you’ve faithfully pursued for all that time. I’m not going to say that the gods never choose those who ask outright, or that I or anybody else gets to decide who is and isn’t suited to Their worship. They have the ability to change Their minds, after all, or to decide that someone has earned Their favor by showing devotion even when faced with a complete lack of response. What people call miracles do, in fact, happen. That we cannot always see the chain of events leading to them, nor know the reasoning behind their occurrence, in no way lessens their impact or importance.

So what to do if one cannot perceive any responses from the gods?

• First of all, you need not have a “god phone” to honor any deity. I believe that They do hear us, every one of us, even if They do not respond. As difficult as it may be to endure, don’t let a lack of response keep you from giving your love and devotion to the gods, if you are so inclined. Even for those who do hear Them, faith is an important quality to cultivate; after all, it’s not as if the gods tell us everything, or never require us to figure things out on our own. Assuming it isn’t that you’ve made an unsuitable choice, honor the gods you want to honor and know that your worship is received in the spirit in which it is given (unless, of course, you receive a clear message to stop, via omens, dreams, or divination.)
• Gods may speak to us via omens and auguries. Our surroundings may carry synchronous events that might have a great deal of meaning for those who train themselves to look. Pay attention to your environment, not just things like the behavior of birds and animals, but weather, unusual events, and random messages from other people who may be totally unaware of being the messengers of the gods. Ask Them if They can give you a sign that your prayers are heard. You may be surprised.
• Divination, as noted above, is another way. If you cannot read Tarot cards or  runes, etc. for yourself, find someone who can, and ask them to interpret any messages on your behalf.
• A seer, such as a Norse seidh-worker, or someone who serves as a “horse” (a spiritworker who becomes ritually possessed by a deity or spirit) might be able to allow you to interact directly with the deity through them, or at least, pass along messages or answers to your questions.
• A priest or priestess of the god/dess in question can offer you more specific information as to what is most likely to get the deity’s attention or, conversely, how you can best give honor to the deity without a direct line of communication.
• Read the primary sources of your tradition — poetry, songs, and sacred texts about the gods, written by the faithful who came before you. Find archaeological and historical studies by lay professionals which might give you more insight into the ways of the gods. Read what your contemporaries have written, too. In all cases, use your own judgment accordingly.
• Finally, ask your own dead for guidance. Members of your (biological or adopted) bloodlines have the most vested interest in helping to get you where you need to be, and cultivating a relationship with them is, in many ways, even more important than worshiping any deities. If you can’t hear or understand your ancestors, seek help from a diviner or spiritworker.

Having said all of this, I should add that when someone comes to me wondering why the gods won’t answer their heartfelt prayers, and asks me what to do, my initial response is to feel sad…and a bit angry on their behalf. I wish I did know of a way to get Them to respond to all the people who so ardently love Them, and who want nothing more than to hear Them answer their prayers. I wish I had more satisfying answers than the above for those who wonder what makes people like me so special and why they don’t seem to be “good enough” to earn the privilege. I also realize that there may even be people who’ve read up to this point and are now upset that I’ve said any or all of these things, thinking, “Well, that’s all very well and good for you. How dare you condescend to the rest of us with your feeble advice!”

All I can say is that I understand. I do. I have had the attention and affection of Loki for about eight years now, and while I know now that He has always been around me, even when I was unaware of Him, I spent many years wondering whether the gods gave a damn about me or anybody else, for all that They seemed to care. In the days before the use of the Internet became widespread, it was even harder, as I lived in a very conservative area of the U.S. without many other Pagans around. I had little else to go by except for what I read in Green Egg and my few books, and the speculations that my friends and I made. I know what it’s like to put all of my energy into a ritual or a devotional act, only to hear ringing silence as a response. If nothing else, know that there’s someone out there who is fully aware of how lucky she is, and who remembers and understands.

As for those who are scoffing at the very idea of gods talking to anybody, least of all some nobody on a farm in New England, there isn’t anything I can say to convince you otherwise. I don’t know why They don’t talk to everyone, and it took a god actually speaking to me, with a voice I couldn’t ignore, for me to believe it, myself. In any case, even if you think I’m crazy, deluded, or lying my ass off, you should understand that this is very real for me, and that I feel it has been a gift and a blessing, even if at times it’s also been uncomfortable and difficult. That’s all the explanation I owe to anybody.