She’s Having A Go At Other Lokeans Again

I’d much rather write about safer topics like poetry and how to evolve a monastic discipline. But I promised a friend I’d say this, and I feel as if I owe it to Himself in a way, too. So here goes.

These days, I don’t hang around places where Lokeans tend to congregate in large numbers. I deactivated my Facebook account some time ago, my LiveJournal participation is sporadic, and I don’t belong to many email lists or web forums. I also don’t make a point of reading every single Lokean blog or Tumblr out there. Because of all this, I don’t have a handle on what’s going on where, or who is saying what. But I’d begun to notice something disturbing, although at first I didn’t have the time or inclination to investigate it myself. I didn’t have to, as it turned out. The issue came to me.

It started with Myrkr’s post about Lokean god-spouses, and while I respectfully disagreed with much of what she said, I did agree in my comment that one of the ideas she’d been hearing lately was, as I put it, “bullshit.” I also noticed that Dver, in her recent post about discernment for god-spouses, made an aside specifically mentioning Lokeans. Occasionally, people would make comments in their communications to me which I found mystifying, as if they thought I was judging them for not being in the same sort of role, spiritually speaking, as I am. And then the other day, another Lokean, who keeps their finger in more community pies than I do, emailed me saying that folks have been contacting them privately and expressing dismay over this same idea, which is apparently being bandied about more and more in online circles where Lokeans hang out. I did some poking around and found that others, too, have apparently heard these rumblings. And that clinched it.

Make no mistake; I’m pretty pissed off about this, and that it even has to be said at all is both shameful and ludicrous. I actually have little hope that the people who really need to read this actually will, or that even if they do, it’ll make them pause and think about what sort of image they’re projecting. But I hope that others might read it and feel reassured that there is not, in fact, something wrong with them.

Here’s the thing:

Being a spouse of Loki does not make you special.

It does not mean that Loki loves you more than He does His other folk. It does not make you wiser or more competent than any other damn fool who has the good (or ill) fortune to draw His attention. It damn sure doesn’t give you the right to determine who is and isn’t truly one of His people. I know all of these things for a fact, from personal experience, because I had to learn from my own mistakes.

Furthermore, no one — I repeat, no one —  is obligated to make a lifelong oath to serve Him, and/or to become His wife, husband, lover, or fuck-buddy, in order to show Him honor, love, respect, or reverence.

Many people view Loki as a friend, an uncle, a brother, a father, even a sort of comrade-in arms. I know one Lokean whom He has referred to as “cousin,” and another who is a child of Loki, and who would find a spousal relationship with Him weird and unnatural. I know still others who haven’t troubled to define their relationship with Him. In fact, people can worship Him from a distance and still be Lokeans. People can even be not very religious at all and yet be Loki’s folk (though admittedly, that’s somewhat more difficult to pull off). The point is that they’re as much Loki’s own as anybody else who claims to be His consort or lover. Nobody but Loki, and the individual in question, gets to decide whether or not someone is His. This means you, too.

“There are many ways to kneel and kiss the ground” is a saying I’m really fond of, because it happens to be true. No god wants only one kind of worshiper — saying that Loki only wants spouses is like saying that Odin only wants warriors, or that Aphrodite only wants sacred whores, or that nobody who isn’t a sailor or fisherman may worship a sea deity. There are plenty of people out there who will tell you otherwise on all counts. And not all gods expect a lifelong, oathbound commitment from every single one of Their people. In fact, my experience and observation, as well as that of many of my friends, rather points to the opposite: people who choose to, or are asked to, bind themselves to a god or goddess via a life-oath are in the minority, rather than being the norm. (And that still doesn’t make us special. It just makes us more tired.)

I don’t know where this ridiculous notion came from, but for the love of the Holy Ones, people need to stop spreading the idea that only those willing to oath themselves to Loki can worship Him or call themselves Lokeans. If you’ve been telling others that it’s impossible for anybody to love or be loved by Loki without a marriage-oath, you should shut the fuck up right now and think about what you’re saying, and also consider all the people — many of whom have honored Him for far longer than you probably have — whom you’re dismissing, ignoring, and maybe even hurting by spreading this garbage.

If you are a Lokean god-spouse, by all means, enjoy it and Him, but also remember that you are the consort of a deity. He’s a god, for crying out loud, not the cool guy from that Thor movie or your own personal version of Drop Dead Fred. Don’t give those who hate both Him and His folk any more cause to insult His judgment, worth, or divine status by treating His other folk as if they don’t matter as much to Loki or cannot possibly understand Him like you do. Because I guarantee you, no matter how devoted you think you are, how much you love Him, or how often you talk to Him, there are things you don’t know or understand about Loki that other people do. Try to learn from them instead of invalidating their experiences. It’s worth it. I know this from experience, too.

I love Loki, and I want Him to be loved by as many people as are willing to love Him. And love comes in a myriad of forms, intensities, and expressions. It’s not my place to judge other people’s relationships with Him, and I am not worthy of determining whose love is more valid, meaningful or heartfelt. Neither are you.

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