Who Am I?
Let the flickering flame of your soul play all about me,
That into my limbs may come the keenness of fire,
The life and joy of tongues of flame,
And, going out from you, tightly strung and in tune,
I may rouse the blear-eyed world,
And pour into it the beauty which you have begotten.
- Amy Lowell, “The Giver of Stars”
My name is Elizabeth and I live in central Massachusetts with my housemates on a small farm. I write poetry and assorted other things for a living, but my full-time vocation is living as a Pagan monastic and consort of the trickster god Loki. I am also dedicated to Hela, Loki’s daughter, ruler of Helheim and caretaker of the dead. I am oathed in different ways to both of Them and consider Loki and Hela to be my primary deities, although I revere a number of other Norse gods and goddesses as well as one or two “foreign” deities.
In addition, I’m currently serving as the leader of a small Northern Tradition devotional group, and I’m also a rank-and-file member of an eclectic Neo-Pagan church. I’ve been involved in modern Paganism to a greater or lesser degree for over twenty years and have many friends who are similarly involved, as well as family and friends involved in African Diaspora, Buddhist and Christian traditions.
Why This Blog?
I don’t wake up in the morning and say, “I wonder how I can subvert mainstream culture today?” Rather, I wake up and say “Thanks be to God” (… and shortly thereafter, “I need coffee.”)
- Sister Julie in A Nun’s Life
I’ve found that one of the harder things I have to deal with is a lack of role models for what a polytheistic, animistic, trickster-venerating, solitary monk or nun might look like. Aside from educated guesses, there is little evidence in the remaining sources for monasticism (as we think of it) existing in pre-Christian Scandinavia. However, since being a monastic is something my gods require of me rather than an errant fancy, and something I do take very seriously, I am trying my best to learn how such a thing might be accomplished in practice rather than merely in theory.
Some of the things I’ve begun asking myself include: What might make a Pagan monastic different from a Buddhist or Catholic, other than the obvious differences in faith? What kind of ethical guidelines does a monastic who’s dedicated to a trickster deity need? How does one live “in the world but not of it” when there are few restrictions in one’s cultural/religious tradition about things like extramarital sex, the acquisition of wealth and the garnering of fame and renown? Is calling oneself a nun or monk meaningless if you aren’t part of a religious community and don’t have a pre-existing Rule to draw from?
I hope to find answers to these and other questions as I learn the hard way what this vocation is all about. The rest of my household is composed of non-monastic, somewhat more eclectic Pagans and I do what I can, but there are going to be gaps in my experience that cannot be filled except by living in community, so please keep that in mind. I’m writing this blog as a record of my efforts and with the hope that it might help others who are struggling along similar paths, and also provide us a way to connect.
And finally…
I know that writing a blog doesn’t make me special, doesn’t make my voice any more or less important than anyone else, and doesn’t automatically mean I know jack shit about anything in particular.
– Alex B.
The views expressed herein are my own and do not represent the collective views of the residents of Cauldron Farm, members of the First Kingdom Church of Asphodel or Iron Wood Kindred, or any other groups or organizations. All information contained in these pages is based on my personal experience, and readers follow any advice given here at their own risk.
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Twilight and Fire is dedicated to Himself and to Her Ladyship.
All contents of this blog are (C) 2008, 2009 by Elizabeth Vongvisith except where otherwise attributed.
