Call for Submissions: Frey Devotional November 14, 2009

This is posted on behalf of my friend and housemate Joshua. (Yes, it’s actually him and not Raven who’s doing this book, for those who are wondering.) Josh loves Frey very much and really wants this devotional to be awesome, so send him something good!

* * * * *
I am putting together a devotional anthology for Frey (because I love Frey!) with the working title “Honey, Grain, and Gold.” I am looking for:

1) Prayers to Frey, of any kind. Under 100 lines.
2) Poetry for/about/from Frey. Under 100 lines.
3) Frey-relevant rituals, of any kind. Under 2000 words.
4) Frey-relevant recipes.
5) Essays about your personal experience of Frey, or your devotional activity towards Frey, or how honoring Frey has changed your life, or similar topics. Between 500 and 5000 words.
6) Devotional songs for Frey, either with sheet music, or with a recording you can send me.
7) Traditional songs (past copyright or with author’s/songwriter’s permission) that you find particularly Frey-relevant.
8)Frey-related images suitable for printing in black and white, such as images of Frey, photos of Frey/Vanic altars or ritual items, or exceptionally inspirational nature/farm/grain photos. The original must be at least 300dpi at final print size. If you didn’t make the image yourself, I need some kind of documentation of copyright permission.

Please do not send me writing that complains about or criticizes other people’s spiritual beliefs or practices.

Send submissions to joshuatenpenny@yahoo.com. Files can be in Word, Open Office, plain text or cut-and-pasted into the email. Include your full legal name and your mailing address so I can send a release form, and tell me what name you want used in the book.

Thanks and please pass this along wherever you feel it is appropriate

(Also, if there is a deity that you’d like to see a devotional for and you’ve got some material for it but are scared of organizing the anthology yourself, send me an email. Asphodel Press is always looking for more deity devotionals, especially for gods besides Odin and Loki – They have enough! We are also interested in collections of prayers and rituals. And don’t think that we won’t publish your devotional because we don’t know you or because we don’t like your god.)

– Joshua Tenpenny

Pagan Prayer Beads: Another Interpretation October 27, 2009

Galina Krasskova has written an article called “Retooling the Rosary” that might interest Norse-inclined Pagan readers of this blog, particularly those who were raised Catholic and miss the familiarity of the Rosary.

Prayer Beads: An Update September 14, 2009

Part of the issue with saying daily prayers for me has been that since I initially wrote the ones that I came up with for my set of beads, my life, my understanding of my gods and my role as a nun have all altered significantly. Saying these prayers came to feel more and more like whining to the gods to help me and give me things, rather than what I felt prayer ought to be about. Consequently, I decided to update the words that correspond with my own set of prayer beads to reflect both what I am trying to accomplish by doing them at all, and to emphasize the fact that I’m trying to understand what They have to teach us. Some of the original prayers have remained more or less unchanged, while I chose to reword or totally rewrite others. The new prayer series is given below.

FIRST BEAD:

Hail to Sunna, Fair Wheel racing across the sky, who teaches us to find joy in each sunrise.

NORNS:

Hail to Urd, That Which Is, who teaches us to use our orlog wisely.

Hail to Verdande, That Which Is Becoming, who teaches us to strengthen our maegan and hamingja.

Hail to Skuld, That Which Must Be, who teaches us to bravely accept our wyrd.

NINE WORLDS:

Hail to the wights of Asgard, mighty home of the Aesir.

Hail to the wights of Ljossalfheim, glimmering realm of the Light-elves.

Hail to the wights of Vanaheim, golden country of the Vanir.

Hail to the wights of Jotunheim, ancient home of the giant-folk.

Hail to the wights of Midgard, lively world of mortal men.

Hail to the wights of Muspellheim, burning world of the fire-giants.

Hail to the wights of Svartalfheim, shadowy realm of the Duergar and Dark-elves.

Hail to the wights of Niflheim, ice-rimed world of the frost-giants.

Hail to the wights of Helheim, the refuge of the dead.

(NORNS)

VANIR & AESIR:

Hail to Frey, Golden Lord of Vanaheim, who teaches us the value of sacrifice.

Hail to Gerda, Lady of the Walled Garden, who teaches us to find strength in solitude.

Hail to Freya, Lady of Brisingamen, who teaches us to understand our own self-worth.

Hail to Nerthus, Earth Mother, who teaches us to respect the power of the land and all of its creatures.

Hail to Njord, Lord of Ships, who teaches us to provide safe harbor for those who need it most of us.

Hail to Holda, Lady of Hearth and Home, who teaches us to take pride and pleasure in providing a haven for our families, our guests and ourselves.

Hail to Bragi, Skald of Skalds, who teaches us that things need not have happened to be true.

Hail to Idunna, Lady of the Orchard, who teaches us to seek health of body and vitality of spirit.

(NORNS)

SEA-ETINS:

Hail to Aegir, Ale-Brewer beneath the sea, who teaches us the value of hospitality.

Hail to Ran, Storm-bringing Ravager, who teaches us to respect the power of the sea and all of its creatures.

Hail to Kolga, Mermaid of Cold Waters, who teaches us to be still.

Hail to Duva, Mermaid of the Hidden Island, who teaches us to see through illusions to the reality behind.

Hail to Blodughadda, Mermaid of the Sea-Bound Rivers, who teaches us the mysteries of the blood.

Hail to Hronn, Mermaid of the Whirlpool, who teaches us to name and accept our greatest fears.

Hail to Hevring, Mermaid of the Surface Waves, who teaches us to name and accept our deepest sorrows.

Hail to Bylgja, Mermaid of the Rip Tide, who teaches us to face danger as a part of life.

Hail to Bara, Mermaid of the Big Wave, who teaches us patience in the face of slow but constant change.

Hail to Unn, Mermaid of the Tidal Rhythms, who teaches us to be mindful of the patterns and passage of time.

Hail to Himinglava, Mermaid of Fair Weather, who teaches us faith in the sunshine that follows the storm.

(NORNS)

JOTNAR:

Hail to Loki, Shape-shifter and Trickster, who teaches us humor in the face of the inevitable.

Hail to Angrboda, Chieftain of the Iron Wood, who teaches us loyalty towards our kith and kin.

Hail to Fenrir, Great Wolf, who teaches us to accept our inner monsters as we learn to control them.

Hail to Jormungand, World Serpent, who teaches us the value of setting boundaries.

Hail to Hati, Moon-Chasing Wolf, who teaches us to accept our most unwelcome duties.

Hail to Skoll, Sun-Chasing Wolf, who teaches us to find what joy we can in our unwelcome duties.

Hail to Sigyn, Lady of Endurance, who teaches us about love that knows no limits.

Hail to Narvi, eldest son of Sigyn and Loki, who teaches us to remember those who died too young.

Hail to Vali, youngest son of Sigyn and Loki, who teaches us compassion for those who suffer unjustly.

Hail to Sleipnir, eight-legged son of Loki, who teaches us to carry our burdens with good will.

Hail to Laufey, Lady of the Leafy Isle, who teaches us to be true to ourselves.

Hail to Farbauti, Flaming Arrow, who teaches us to use our wits as well as our might against our enemies.

Hail to Surt, Lord of Muspellheim, who teaches us that resurrection follows destruction.

Hail to Gunnlod, fair-voiced Lady Under the Mountain, who teaches us that from isolation can come beauty and joy.

Hail to Hyndla, Hag of the Northern Mountains, who teaches us to honor our bloodlines and ancestry.

Hail to Mengloth, Healer of Lyfja Mount, who teaches us to recognize when we cause pain to others.

Hail to Utgard-Loki, crafty Sorcerer-King, who teaches us when to speak and when to remain silent.

Hail to Mordgud, Guardian of Helheim’s Gate, who teaches us discernment between what is and what is not ours to protect.

Hail to Nidhogg, Gnawer at the Roots, who teaches us mindfulness about the things we cast aside and away.

Hail to Hela, Goddess of the Dead, who teaches us compassion for the souls of the departed.

(NORNS)

LAST BEADS:

Hail to Mani, Walker in the Darkness, who teaches us to seek peace in the shadows of the night.

Hail to Yggdrasil, World Tree, who teaches us to withstand the fire and frost of mortal existence, and to remain rooted in our faith and troth.

I usually end with additional prayers to specific deities and prayers on behalf of other people.

Well, then… September 1, 2009

I haven’t updated in a while because I’ve been either out of town, or busy, or both. I hope to write a review of the Kathleen Norris book I’m still reading, and perhaps get back on track with more general posts about living as a monastic Pagan.

The thing is, I have drifted further and further away from specifically and solely Northern/Norse practices (not my primary gods, though — I am still Loki’s and Hela’s, through and through) and while this actually doesn’t change the nature of my personal devotional life all that much, it does have somewhat of an impact on my status as a priestess and my status with other Northern Traditionists. I wouldn’t call myself an eclectic Pagan so much as one who has largely stopped doing a lot of magic and sorcery as part and parcel of my religion, and whose focus seems to be less and less on either ancient Norse practices or modern NT Pagan ones.

I pray, write, sing, give offerings, do work for my gods and my communities and help friends and clients as part of my day-to-day life, while at the same time, my interior spiritual life is quite rich (at least, compared to when I began all this over six years ago). But I am neither a reconstructionist, nor have I consciously decided to ignore all that wonderful and rich Norse culture and history in favor of the usual modern Neo-Pagan beliefs and practices. And it all feels less like what most of us think of as “religion.” I just consider it part of my life. Does that mean I’ve succeeded at something? If so, I have no idea what.

I use “Pagan” because that’s the closest term that describes my religious views, and “nun” because, well…that’s what I am, although it took me some time to realize this. Perhaps I oughtn’t be so concerned with what to call what it is that I do and live and believe. I should just worry about whether or not I’m living my beliefs according to whatever internal consistency they have (the best way, I think, to reconcile oneself to the personal vagaries of one’s own UPG) and whether or not I’m doing what my gods would have me do. Obedience is something that most Pagans are not very fond of as a virtue to be cultivated, and while it isn’t necessarily a trait that everybody needs to cultivate, it is personally important to me where my gods are concerned — if only because if I don’t do what They ask of me, I feel out of sorts and as if I’m doing things the wrong way. And I don’t need other people’s (largely unsolicited) opinions and judgment or threats or smiting from Them to feel like this — which is largely because I’ve tried to cultivate self-awareness as well.

The point of all this is not to trumpet how great I think I am or to bore readers with personal woolgathering, but to say that I am not sure at this point what direction I’ll take with my blog, which is supposed to reflect my experience as a nun — just that I am going to strive to be as honest as possible and as open as I am comfortable being about the things I learn on the path to being a lifelong Pagan monastic. I do intend to make a formal vow of profession, as I stated before, but I do not know exactly when that will happen. I get the feeling there are things I need to do first, although I’m not entirely certain what they are. (This is, apparently, one of the dubious joys of being a monastic in a religious tradition, or body of traditions rather, where there is no modern precedent for your role. Yay.)

I am currently away from home working for some friends of mine on a project involving a good deal of physical labor and practical problem-solving — which is a far cry from my everyday life of household chores and thinking about theological issues. The change of pace has so far agreed with me, and although I hope to be back home at the end of this week, I hope also that having had a break from my “anchoritic cell” for a week or two will refresh me enough to buckle down to my daily routine once more, and to provide a clearer picture of the destination before me. But as they say, getting there is half the fun.

A Long-Delayed Book August 11, 2009

Be Thou My Hearth and Shield: Prayers in the Northern Tradition, which I compiled and edited, is finally available from Asphodel Press/Lulu. It’s a collection of prayers written by eighteen contributors (and myself) for different purposes and in honor of various deities of the Aesir, Jotnar and Vanir. It is intended as an offering to my gods, which to me is the most important reason to write a book of this nature. And I hope it encourages people to pray. Speaking to the gods is just as important as listening to Them, and the all-too-common attitude that prayer is something Pagans don’t do (because it’s associated with those other religions) saddens me.

I expect the book will be controversial in some regards and with some people, but fame (or infamy) wasn’t my goal when I put this book together, and those who would find fault with it are unlikely to buy it anyway.

Prayer II June 1, 2009

A while back, I described the set of prayer beads I have and the words I use with them. It’s my habit to go through the entire set and then hold them quietly and address the gods directly — someones one at a time, sometimes in groups.

That, to me, is what prayer truly is — speaking to the Holy Ones as if They were sitting right beside me. I see nothing disrespectful about this, for it is my experience that the Northern gods, at least, do not generally stand on ceremony with Their followers unless there’s a damn good reason. Therefore, I feel comfortable addressing Them in a familiar sort of way, although I do generally refer to each of Them directly as “my Lady,”  “my Lord” or by whatever other title of respect seems appropriate. So then, I asked myself recently, why am I fooling around with the beads at all if what comes afterward is the “real” praying?

What I’m really doing with my beads is more along the lines of meditation about the nature of the gods rather than speaking to Them. In other words, it’s a contemplative activity. When I say these prayers, I typically think about each god or goddess as I recite (out loud or silently) the line connected with His or Her bead, and I consider the connection between that deity’s personality and/or story, and the qualities I seek to foster in myself. For example:

In the name of Utgard-Loki, Sorcerer-King, may I know when to speak and when to remain silent.

I actually don’t have any kind of relationship with Utgard-Loki and I’ve never prayed directly to Him, but when I recite the above line I consider how, according to Gylfaginning, His cunning was evidently greater than that of both Thor and Loki combined — no small feat. I also think of what some of my more experienced friends have said of Utgard-Loki — that He is less crude and boisterous than those He rules, but His intelligence and reserve make Him more dangerous. As someone who is sometimes guilty of carelessly shooting my mouth off about things, I could stand to learn discernment. My approach to the rest of the bead prayers about other gods is much the same, even for deities I’m closer to, such as Loki and Hela.

I do find that after saying this set of prayers, I am in a much more receptive state of mind to receive true insight and perhaps even actual communication from Them than I might be otherwise. I also have an easier time speaking from the heart without letting myself get distracted. Sometimes, as I’m diligently praying through my beads, one of Them will issue the equivalent of an “ahem!” at which point I will stop and listen to what They have to say. So yes, the prayer beads are a very useful tool, besides being pretty and sparkly. There are many ways to draw closer to the world of the gods.

Hrafn has written an interesting series of essays about using  Northern Tradition prayer beads on his blog. linked from the sidebar to the right.

Happy June!

The Merry Month of May! April 28, 2009

Here at the farm where I live, the trees are leafing out and the daffodils and violets are blooming. The beautiful but very poisonous bloodroot is flowering near the road by the goat yard. We have a new baby goat and two new baby lambs. Seeds are being planted for this year’s vegetable crop and the herb garden is coming back to life. I’m happy for fresh raw goat milk and organic eggs from our hens — over a dozen every couple of days. Plans are underway to clear away the debris from the ice storm and tidy up the orchard, although we missed pruning this year.

The following is a song from the mid-13th century. Someone told me it has the oldest known tune in (Middle) English. In the Pagan church I belong to, it’s sung at Beltane as a round while everyone dances around the Maypole. It is also sung in the final scene of The Wicker Man (the 1973 version with Christopher Lee, not…the other one.)

Sumer is icumun in
Lhude sing Cuccu!
Groweth sed and bloweth med
And springth the wde nu
Sing Cuccu!

Awe bleteth after lombe
Lhouth after calve cu
Bulloc sterteth, bucke verteth
Murie sing Cuccu!

Cuccu, Cuccu
Wel singes thu Cuccu
Ne swik thu never nu.

A translation (not mine, so I don’t know how accurate this is):

Summer has come in
Loudly sing cuckoo!
Seeds blow, meadow blooms
And the wood springs anew
Sing cuckoo!

The ewe bleats after the lamb
The cow lows after the calf
The bull leaps, the buck farts [!!!]
Merrily sing cuckoo!

Cuckoo, cuckoo
You sing cuckoo well
Now don’t you ever stop.

I’ll be away from home for a while, so even though it’s a couple of days early, here’s to a happy and glorious May Eve/May Day/Beltane/Walpurgisnacht for all.

My Joy: Mysticism January 12, 2009

My joy –
My Hunger –
My Shelter –
My Friend –
My Food for the journey –
My journey’s End –
You are my breath,
My hope,
My companion,
My craving,
My abundant wealth.
Without You — my Life, my Love –
I would never have wandered across these endless countries.
You have poured out so much grace for me,
Done me so many favors, given me so many gifts –
I look everywhere for Your love –
Then suddenly I am filled with it.
O Captain of my Heart
Radiant Eye of Yearning in my breast,
I will never be free from You
As long as I live.
Be satisfied with me, Love,
And I am satisfied.

– Rabi’a Al-’Adawiyya (717-801)

I love this poem. It captures so much of what I feel about Loki, and it is true that I have been the recipient of many gifts from His hands — even if some of those did have strings attached. I love other gods very much, but Laufey’s son holds my heart in His hands, no matter what other people may say or how much they disapprove. I am a mystic as well as a priestess and a nun; at times there is no clear boundary between the three roles.

I believe the mystic’s journey is essentially the same no matter what tools one uses along the way or which Beloved waits at the end of the road. I often see familiar things in the love songs and hymns of praise written by other mystics — Christian, Hindu, Muslim or Pagan — to their gods. I’m especially fond of Mirabai, daughter of a high-caste family who ran away to become a wandering holy woman, constantly writing poems in praise of Krishna, who she considered to be her husband. I can relate to her constant and often painfully sweet search for Him. The longing for the divine Beloved is sharper than any earthly hunger, and the joy that comes from nearness with one’s Beloved is more intoxicating than any earthly pleasure.

My understanding is that in other traditions,  the mystic seeks to rise above the physical world, the body and its needs, in order to unite with the Divine, which is seen as transcendent, even if the world is the creation of that same god(s). As a Pagan, however, I believe this faulty, magnificent world is holy in and of itself. I don’t wish to transcend the physical so much as incorporate it into the realm of all that I consider sacred and praiseworthy. And I don’t need to drag the spirits down to my level to be a Pagan mystic. The gods and spirits are already here, present in all that I see, touch, smell, taste and hear. My ancestors live in my flesh and blood and memory. The spirits of the land and sea, of the animals and plants that live in and around and beneath, are everywhere I look. And while one particular Personage is the fire that burns at the center of my heart, all the gods are never far away so long as I remember Them, tend Their harrows and holy places, care for the things They love and allow Them to speak to me when They have something to say. So long as I remember that while They inhabit Their own worlds, those worlds touch mine, and interconnect in ways I might overlook or mistake for something else, if I am careless or hasty to judge.

The trick is in learning how to know all that in a way which cannot be forgotten. Yes, it’s hard, because the world we live in is imperfect, frustrating, often frightening, and there are times (such as recently in my own life) where the gods seem remote, the spirits silent, and the heart beats in what seems an eternity of dreadful silence, and one feels totally disconnected and alone. Every mystic grapples with those feelings, too, though they are written about less often than when we are full of the power and ecstasy of the Holy Ones. It is not an easy path, and it is often a lonely and scary one. But whatever my other religious and spiritual responsibilities might be, I feel that for me at least, learning how to be a Pagan mystic is a worthwhile and rewarding task.

The Future Is Not Yet November 17, 2008

The more I read about monastic life in other faiths, the more I come to see that this is going to be harder than I believed. The more I understand about the way things like the Benedictine Rule work, both on paper and in the real world of fallible humans, the more I realize that I am truly a novice in so many ways. As of now I am in no position to write a Rule for a hypothetical Pagan community because I myself have not been a nun for long enough. There is so much I do not know about the gods, about the Old Norse ancestors that last worshipped Them, about the reality of living as a Lokean priestess-wife and a Pagan anchorite. I have truly been hubristic to believe that my writing of a Norse-based Rule will happen in a few years’ time. I think rather that I will be old when I finally start to write it all down. Perhaps someone else will get there before I will; if so, I would welcome the opportunity to see what kind of ideas their own study and work have brought forth.

I’m 37 now. I’ve only belonged to Loki for a few years, and although much of the past five years has been spent in isolation, living an existence that has become gradually more removed from the concerns of the dominant society I live in, that in no way makes me qualified to write a set of guidelines for a group of fellow monastics. I do not have enough grounding in knowledge of the primary sources. I do not have a good understanding of how a monastic community based on Pagan spiritual values might work, as opposed to a Christian monastery. Most significantly, perhaps self-indulgently as well, I do not know myself well enough, in the sense that the office of priestess and nun is still a relatively new one. I am still figuring out not only what those roles look like, but what they look like when I fill them, if that makes any sense.

So I have decided, after some thought, to focus on deepening my own spirituality and living more fully as a vocational dedicant of my gods, in a fashion based on Norse culture and values as I understand them, translated into modern life. This means a lot more reading and study, a lot more reflection and practice, and a lot more self-discipline and work, including work of the most petty and mundane sort. If I were a beginning music student, I could not hope to one day write a symphony if I didn’t start at the beginning with scales and finger exercises, right? While one day I will be capable and experienced enough to pass down what I know, first I have to know it. And that sort of knowledge can only be acquired through effort and experience, not through secondhand accounts from persons who, while they may share in some of the same experiences, are writing from a fundamentally different point of view than mine. I am, after all, a Pagan and a mystic who sees and speaks to spirits as friends and allies rather than demons or illusions. I am not a Buddhist or a Catholic or a member of some other transcedental faith, and their ultimate goals are not mine.

For now, I plan to continue educating myself on the general subject of monastic life, taking what is useful to me and leaving the rest. I intend to re-read the Eddas and start reading the sagas again, as well as other primary and secondary sources concerning ancient Nordic religion, works of archaeology and anthropology, and modern writings on Heathenry and Northern Tradition Paganism. I also want to develop a more stringent daily routine and set some more concrete goals concerning regular rituals for holy days. Whenever I find material that I think will one day be useful in the writing of a useful Rule, I will make a note of it. But I will cease pressuring myself semi-consciously to hurry up and read X many books so that in a couple of years I can write all of this down…because it’s not going to happen that way. I haven’t even managed to master the limited goals I’ve already set for myself, and the recent experiment with wearing habits was a dismal failure. I’m not being self-recriminatory here, but these examples serve to highlight my unreadiness.

I also feel it’s no coincidence that within the last couple of months, my opportunities to leave the house, except for the occasional errand, have been steadily dwindling. I can’t use the excuse of having access to a car and a city full of distractions as a reason why I don’t get things done. This is not to say that I want to isolate myself further, but that I recognize a message from the gods when I see one – and the message here is that I need to really learn what it is to live a 24/7 contemplative life before I earn the right to have a break from it. So I’ll take the hint. I’ll slow down. I’ll endeavor to acquire self-knowledge. I will be mindful of what I learn. I will use discretion in my words. I’ll cultivate the courage to take up the work that is directly at hand rather than in the distant future, and the compassion to do it whether I want to or not. I will persevere and be grateful for the opportunity this life has handed me to experience the awesome and terrible power of the gods and the beauty of the Nine Worlds we inhabit.

Next year I’m going to take a formal vow dedicating myself as a nun. April Fools’ Day was when Loki first came to me in a dream which I have never forgotten, and I think that’s an entirely appropriate day for someone belonging to Himself to make that sort of oath. I have spent the better part of a year already in my current situation, and while there is no doubt in my mind that this life is the one for me, it’d be nice to have a formal acknowledgement of that. And five months is a generous amount of time to develop a more structured schedule for daily devotions and work, to do more reading and thinking about what a Northern Tradition monastic’s ultimate goals ought to be, and maybe to resolve the “what does a Lokean nun wear every day?” question once and for all.

A Look at Daily Devotions November 9, 2008

I feel that doing daily acts of devotion is something that ought to be part and parcel of my life as a Pagan nun. It’s good to have reasons for doing things rather than just assuming “that’s just what monastics do.” Here they are:

Devotional activities re-emphasize monastic values. Prayer, making offerings and so forth are a celebratory and contemplative expression of faith, even when performed alone. They cause one to remain mindful, and they require the sacrifice of time and resources that might otherwise be spent on different pursuits. They are an act of service to the gods as one directs attention and energy to Them. I can’t easily forget the bedrock of values on which is built the Rule I aspire to create, not when I’m doing things every day that are a continual reminder of those values.

Doing set activities every day teaches self-discipline. This is particularly difficult since I have no community with which to, say, rise at dawn and utter praise to Sunna, or to join in a prayer of thanksgiving to Frey and Nerthus when the garden yields up a ton of tomatoes. Some of my housemates would happily join me in these activities…but not every day, and it isn’t the same as having other dedicated monastics around. It’s far easier to stick to a daily schedule of prayer, work and ritual when there are thirty of you doing it all at once, rather than one of you doing it amidst the clutter and chaos of a household shared with five other adults with their own pursuits.

It’s my job. While I don’t believe that Loki or any of the other gods needs my worship or faith in order to survive, neither do I believe that giving these things to Them is a wasted, unwelcome effort. Just as the job of a shaman is to cross between worlds on behalf of others, the job of a magician is to use sorcery to accomplish certain goals, and the job of a priest is to open a door and point the way through for the congregation, so the job of a monastic is to provide a continuous supply of devotion and love for the gods s/he serves. While I’m a priestess and a spirit-worker as well, the former roles only happen on specific occasions. Most of the time, I’m a nun, albeit a sloppy and undisciplined one.

So what kind of daily devotions am I doing…or ought to be doing? Well, prayer is first on my list. As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I have a beautiful set of beads and a series of prayers that go with them. It is my goal to say those prayers at least once a day, preferably in the morning after awakening, since I’ve found to my dismay that I’ll often fall asleep in the middle of them if I wait until too late at night. I append the regular series of prayers with petitions on behalf of others, expressions of joy and gratitude, and special prayers addressed to my Beloved. Although my relationship with Loki is shockingly familiar and very close, I don’t see that as any reason not to address Him formally and with the respect I show the other gods, when it seems right to do so.

Second is yoga. I can just imagine the shudders of horror from strict recons! No, it’s not Norse or Germanic. Yes, calling it part of my allegedly Northern European-based monastic practice probably smacks of eclecticism and “cultural misappropriation.” But I want and need a daily activity that not only helps me center and focus myself, since I tend to be scatterbrained, but something that will reinforce my physical awareness, which varies from middling to low. Yoga works really well for both of these. Trying to do each successive pose perfectly and transition gracefully between them is a never-ending challenge. Generally I’ve done Sun Salutations or Great Saluations every day, although I’m going to give Astanga yoga another try despite a somewhat inauspicious initial attempt. I attend a yoga/Pilates combo class twice a week, but that’s more for the sake of getting a workout than as a meditative activity, since it involves sweating, mild cursing and loud pop music in a gymnasium. Another activity I sometimes use for the same purpose as yoga is traditional-style field archery, which likewise depends on form, economy of movement, focus and awareness. Any sort of martial art would probably provide the same effect.

Third, there are the mundane daily chores. I live in a shared household with five other people, all of whom are grown adults but most of whom are too busy, lazy or distracted to attend to things like cleaning up after themselves. I’m responsible for the general cleanliness of the kitchen and I do about half the cooking that goes on, mostly at dinnertime. My original share of the household chores was merely to wash the dishes, so the rest is completely voluntary. I try very hard not to be self-righteous nor to get too irritable when I have to sweep crumbs off the table for the hundredth time, because nobody’s forcing me to do any of this (although my housemates have expressed their gratitude many times). I do it because service is an important monastic value of mine, and I have few other means to express that in a community setting. If nothing else, washing up, sweeping the floor and putting a myriad of small items away every day teaches me to be more mindful and instills self-discipline I might not otherwise have. (Ironically, I’m much more conscientious about this than I am about praying, which is very sad.)

And that’s mostly it. Doing these few things actually takes more time than you’d think. I suppose it doesn’t sound like a whole lot when you’ve heard of monks from other traditions chanting all night then rising at dawn to walk the streets so that the faithful can give them food, or hermits going off to live in isolated huts and spend hours at a time on their knees praying, fasting and beating themselves with whips. But I’m comparatively new at this, solitary, and without much of a social or cultural context to draw from, so this is where I’m starting.

There are other activities that don’t necessarily happen every single day. I make offerings to ancestors and to the land-wight and other spirits. I have a small harrow (altar) for Loki in my room which I keep clean, dust-free and supplied with fresh candles, incense and offerings such as He requires. There are also many god-poles, shrines and altars in the house and around the property where I live. Some of these are to foreign deities I do not know, but there are many dedicated to Norse gods and wights, and these I consider it my duty to make sure are clean, free of debris or trash, and in good repair, with no dried-up, stinky old offerings laying around, unless that’s what They want, of course.

I also sing in the choir and attend rituals for Asphodel, an eclectic Neo-Pagan church founded by my housemates, and I participate in rituals and plan events for Iron Wood Kindred, of which I am the gydja. There have been a number of occasions on which I was forced to act as a priest without any warning, usually when counseling someone in a crisis. I give also readings and do trancework for folks from time to time, and I spend a certain amount of time writing about religious stuff, mostly nonfiction essays or devotional poetry. (I’m not sure if writing pornography exactly counts as a devotional act even when it’s based on Himself, but hey, at least it’s not contrary to my faith or my vocation, and it pays reasonably well.) The rest of my time is spent looking after personal matters (laundry, doctor’s visits), other household matters (shopping for food) or doing something recreational (watching movies, reading, surfing the Internet).

I think a well-balanced life is important even if you are a nun and spend most of your working hours in religious pursuits, so in writing the Rule, I’m going to stipulate that there ought to be times for physical exercise and recreational activities as well as devotional activities, rituals, work, eating and sleeping. Also, since Pagan monastics are not necessarily celibate or unattached, there should also be time allotted for being with lovers, though this could come under the aegis of “recreational” or general free time, I guess. For a god-consort like me, it isn’t an issue since spending time with my significant Other is in itself a devotional practice. I should hope, however, that if one decides to become a monastic, one’s significant other(s) are copacetic with having to take second place to their lover’s new vocation (ask any shaman you meet about the dubious joys of this situation.) And I wouldn’t expect someone with young children to embark upon this life, as those children need to come first at all times until they are grown and independent. Being a monk or nun requires a full-time dedication that a parent is not at liberty to offer.

But these last are topics I can address at another time. Now, I need to go downstairs and start washing dishes.