Call for Submissions: Frey Devotional November 14, 2009

This is posted on behalf of my friend and housemate Joshua. (Yes, it’s actually him and not Raven who’s doing this book, for those who are wondering.) Josh loves Frey very much and really wants this devotional to be awesome, so send him something good!

* * * * *
I am putting together a devotional anthology for Frey (because I love Frey!) with the working title “Honey, Grain, and Gold.” I am looking for:

1) Prayers to Frey, of any kind. Under 100 lines.
2) Poetry for/about/from Frey. Under 100 lines.
3) Frey-relevant rituals, of any kind. Under 2000 words.
4) Frey-relevant recipes.
5) Essays about your personal experience of Frey, or your devotional activity towards Frey, or how honoring Frey has changed your life, or similar topics. Between 500 and 5000 words.
6) Devotional songs for Frey, either with sheet music, or with a recording you can send me.
7) Traditional songs (past copyright or with author’s/songwriter’s permission) that you find particularly Frey-relevant.
8)Frey-related images suitable for printing in black and white, such as images of Frey, photos of Frey/Vanic altars or ritual items, or exceptionally inspirational nature/farm/grain photos. The original must be at least 300dpi at final print size. If you didn’t make the image yourself, I need some kind of documentation of copyright permission.

Please do not send me writing that complains about or criticizes other people’s spiritual beliefs or practices.

Send submissions to joshuatenpenny@yahoo.com. Files can be in Word, Open Office, plain text or cut-and-pasted into the email. Include your full legal name and your mailing address so I can send a release form, and tell me what name you want used in the book.

Thanks and please pass this along wherever you feel it is appropriate

(Also, if there is a deity that you’d like to see a devotional for and you’ve got some material for it but are scared of organizing the anthology yourself, send me an email. Asphodel Press is always looking for more deity devotionals, especially for gods besides Odin and Loki – They have enough! We are also interested in collections of prayers and rituals. And don’t think that we won’t publish your devotional because we don’t know you or because we don’t like your god.)

– Joshua Tenpenny

Book Review: Books of Hours November 4, 2009

The Book of Hours: Prayers to the Goddess and Book of Hours: Prayers to the God represent something of a departure from the norm for Pagan publishing in that they are not “Wicca/Neo-Paganism 101″ texts nor are they compilations of magical correspondenses, tables and spells. These are genuine books of hours arranged for daily, seasonal, lunar, solar and occasional use, and they contain prayers rather than invocations or rituals.

Designed to be used either separately or together, these are primarily intended for a Wiccan audience. Prayers to the Goddess is based around the aspects of the Threefold Goddess and the prayers for Her are meant to be said in the morning, evening and at night. A separate Common of the Moon contains prayers for the Full and New Moons, and the Seasonal Common reflects the eight Sabbats.

Prayers to the God celebrates Him as the Lover of the Goddess and contains daily prayers addressed to the God and meant to be said in the afternoon, as well as solar, lunar and seasonal prayers. Unlike the first volume, this one also contains prayers specifically for men and women. Both books have a selection of assorted prayers for different purposes and an appendix describing a few commonly worshiped Hellenic, Celtic and Egyptian deities.

In modern Wicca and Wiccan-based Neo-Paganism, the Goddess has ascendancy over the God and is often the focus of more devotional and ritual behavior. The author is writing from that standpoint and therefore, the first volume is more of a stand-alone book than the second, where the material addressed specifically to the God isn’t as extensive. However, the real beauty in these two books is that they are meant to be used concurrently, so that one would be praying to the Goddess and God daily at different times, forming a continous round of prayer from morning to night and following the cycles of the Sun, Moon and seasons.

As my housemate pointed out, the one potentially discordant thing about these two books is the different between the tone of the prayers addressed to the Goddess versus those addressed to the God. The former are prayers of reverence and devotion to a universal deity, while the latter are expressed from the point of view of a lover to one’s divine but very particular Beloved. Since the author is a (presumably) heterosexual woman, this makes a certain amount of sense. However, it also limits the usefulness of the prayers somewhat for those who aren’t inclined to view the Goddess and God in these roles. While the author acknowledges this in her preface to Prayers to the God, it would have been nice to see the same approach consistently in both books.

While the theology expressed doesn’t reflect my own beliefs (I’m a hard polytheist and conceive as the gods as separate entities rather than facets of a universal Goddess and God) I do admire the sincerity and devotion that went into the writing of the Books of Hours. The brief prayers are very beautiful, and while some might find the daily affirmations and meditation topics too “New Agey” or simplistic, there is nothing preventing one from using different subjects for these. Additionally, it’s nice that these were conceived by the publisher as quality books intended for many years’ use; they’re hardbound with an attached ribbon marker and parchment endpapers, and printed with an easy-to-read font (but no illustrations). Unfortunately they’re both out of print, but used copies may be found online.

I highly recommend these for Wiccans and Neo-Pagans of that bent who seek to develop a closer relationship with the Goddess and God and who are inclined towards regular devotional practice or monasticism. For others, these books might serve as inspiration for a Book of Hours more relevant to their own tradition or theology.

Book of Hours: Prayers to the Goddess
Book of Hours: Prayers to the God
by Galen Gillotte
2002, Llewellyn Publications
$14.95 (each)

Pagan Prayer Beads: Another Interpretation October 27, 2009

Galina Krasskova has written an article called “Retooling the Rosary” that might interest Norse-inclined Pagan readers of this blog, particularly those who were raised Catholic and miss the familiarity of the Rosary.

…You Get What You Need October 10, 2009

Not long after I made the post about being in the grip of acedia, I had an epiphany. The timing doesn’t surprise me. When you’re associated with a deity like Loki, that’s what tends to happen: as soon as you realize what’s actually going on, it changes. Basically, I needed to give the problem of my lack of commitment to my vocation a name and a shape before I could make the final leap into wholehearted dedication.

This was spurred by an incident that took place a few weeks ago. I was present at a ritual where Loki “rode” a human spirit-worker. This means that for a short period of time, He possessed the body of the person in order to interact with those of us present. It is akin to the way Voudon and other Afro-Carribean religionists are “ridden” by the spirits. Indeed, the terminology used by other spirit-workers is often borrowed from those traditions since most other traditions lack vocabulary to describe what is becoming a widespread phenomenon. Anyway, while I was not the person who was the focus of the ritual, I did indeed have some contact with Him. This was only the second time I’d interacted with Loki in the flesh, so to speak, in the six years I have been His. And well…it kind of sucked, actually.

One of Loki’s faces is one that I call “Breaker of Worlds.” This is the unrepentant jerk who eventually killed Baldur and went slowly insane bound in a dark cavern beneath the world, and who is an unpredictable bastard when you call upon Him in that guise and with that expectation. That is not the whole of what Loki is. However, it is a very real part of Him that is often ignored by those Lokeans who view Him as simply a fun-loving prankster or an excuse to try and get away with bad behavior.

I don’t often experience Loki that way; He generally comes to me wearing a different face. But the gods are complex beings, and I know that He is both of these things, more than both of these. I do know the mad, bad and dangerous-to-know Loki, perhaps not as well as I do the one who fills me with both joy and longing. But I know Him.

That knowing made it hurt no less when He walked up and insulted me with a single sentence that went to the heart of many of my personal insecurities about myself. He is deadly accurate and unerringly cruel when He wants to really get to someone. For a moment I was stung. However, instead of breaking down sobbing or walking away in silence and denial, as I might have done before, I simply shrugged and answered “I am what I am.”

I’m not sure where I found the presence of mind to say that, unless it was that I had spent some time before the rite bracing myself for whatever He would do or say, and as He had insisted I attend the ritual in the first place, I knew He’d do or say something to me. Apparently that was the right answer, for to my surprise, Loki didn’t respond or insult me further, and soon went back to what He’d being doing before.

It was a test, I realized later, a small but significant one that made me think harder about why I want to be a nun — as opposed to just calling myself one because it’s what Loki and Hela want. It made me think further about why I am Loki’s consort and what it means to be the wife of a god (one of many mortal spouses, and not the pretentious title some people claim it to be, but a different way of understanding a god or goddess than through other kinds of devotional roles). It made me decide that, rather than passively do whatever I feel They expect me to do, I need to do certain things because I want to. Because it’s right and good that I do them, because I see the need for those things to be done. Because it’s my choice.

I had to choose to really be Loki’s consort, and choose to dedicate my life to Him and to Hela’s service. Even though I’m one of those people whom the gods seemingly picked out of a lineup and informed, “You’re ours.” Even though a great many things in my life as a result have not been not my choice — where I live, what I do for a living, where I spend my money, even what kinds of clothing I wear. Even though I’d already accepted that this was how things were going to be from now on. My choice was key to this — my willingness to embrace my vocation as a monastic and my status as Loki’s wife freely and because I really wanted it, not because I was just doing as I was told.

It seems so obvious now, but like many things, it isn’t so obvious when you are too close to see the whole picture and can only make out the details right in front of your face. In some way, standing up to Loki that day helped me gain the necessary distance to see what I had been ignoring or unable to see before. True, He wasn’t as hard on me as He was on the person for whom the ritual had been arranged, but then again, even Loki is capable of subtlety, and being shouted at in front of a crowd of onlookers was not what I needed.

The thing is, I already knew what I needed to know. I just didn’t realize it. I remember having a conversation with a friend some time ago. We were discussing the number of devotional books dedicated to various gods and goddesses that have been published lately. Both of us think this is an excellent thing, but he was saying how glad he was that he didn’t “have” to write a devotional for his particular patron as someone else already had one in the works. I found myself growing annoyed and self-righteous. “I’ve never written anything, except for my nun blog, because They told me to. That’s not the point — devotional work is done because you want to do it. It’s a gift, it doesn’t mean anything if They have to force it out of you.”

Well, duh. That is what Loki has been trying to get me to see for several years. That is why He hasn’t demanded that I stop doing certain things or given me a deadline for my profession of vows. He wanted me to decide for myself that I wanted it. Would I still have to be a monastic if I hadn’t reached this point? Possibly. I imagine I could have conceivably dragged this whole acedia thing out for years, the prospect of which is unappealing.

So the long and the short of it is that now I am finally and fully ready to commit to a monastic life, and to enter into the deep, commited kind of devotional relationship with Himself that by necessity will require some personal sacrifices. I have chosen a date later this month on which, in front of friends who have agreed to witness the oath-taking, I will formally make the vows I wrote about in an earlier post. I will begin from there on in to live according to the rules They and I have set out for me to abide by. I’m finally ready.

I’m fairly amused that this rather undermines the whole Master/slave paradigm that some god-bothered people (myself included) have claimed to have with their gods. It also reinforces both the contradictory nature of dealing with a trickster and the liminal space that people like me have to inhabit in order to do so without going mad ourselves. I’m a solitary monastic who has a community, a nun whose vows do not include complete celibacy, a polytheist whose life-work is to devote the majority of my energies to the worship of one god, a Lokean whose relationship with Himself is bounded by certain rules. Irony is so much a part of my life at this point that I take it for granted.

I’m also under no illusions that I won’t wrestle with acedia again in future. After all, I’m still a beginner in many ways, and it’s always hardest for new monastics, so they say, to resist the grip of apathy and despair. But having chosen to live the life I have been given has filled me with new determination, so I feel better about things than I have in a long time.

I’ll write an account of the actual oath-taking, as well as a post on the monastic rules that are going to govern my life from then on. I also plan to write about the high holidays, as I’d mentioned some time ago. Now that I have a clearer idea of what I’m going to be doing it’s much easier to find things to write about here.

In honor of Mani October 5, 2009

How can I see the splendor of the moon
If his face shines over my heart,
Flaming like the sun?

The Turks in his eyes charge through my soul,
While untrue curling hair
Defeats faith.

Yet if he lifted the veil from his face,
The world would be undone,
The universe astounded.

He walks through the garden
With grace, erect,
His exquisite posture mocking even the straight cypresses.

He charges, riding his gnostic horse
Into the holy space of divinity,
The sacred sphere.

Tonight the Saki with its red-stained ruby lips
Pours wine for the luxury of every drunk,
And sates every reveler’s taste.

As Hayati has drunk his ecstasy,
Her soul now satisfied by the wine of his pure heart,
How can she drink any other nectar?

– Bibi Hayati (19th Century), translated by Aliki Barnstone

Mani is the Norse deity associated with the moon. He travels the night skies and observes much of what happens in the Nine Worlds. His is a gentle, joyous presence, and as a friend once pointed out during a faining for him, Mani is a god whose face you can see right in front of you every night, if you only take the time to look. His sister, Sunna, is the goddess of the sun.

(I found this via the Poetry Chaikhana email newsletter. I highly recommend a visit to this site if you are interested at all in devotional poetry, as it has a stunning collection of works by poets from many religious traditions around the world.)

Prayer Beads: An Update September 14, 2009

Part of the issue with saying daily prayers for me has been that since I initially wrote the ones that I came up with for my set of beads, my life, my understanding of my gods and my role as a nun have all altered significantly. Saying these prayers came to feel more and more like whining to the gods to help me and give me things, rather than what I felt prayer ought to be about. Consequently, I decided to update the words that correspond with my own set of prayer beads to reflect both what I am trying to accomplish by doing them at all, and to emphasize the fact that I’m trying to understand what They have to teach us. Some of the original prayers have remained more or less unchanged, while I chose to reword or totally rewrite others. The new prayer series is given below.

FIRST BEAD:

Hail to Sunna, Fair Wheel racing across the sky, who teaches us to find joy in each sunrise.

NORNS:

Hail to Urd, That Which Is, who teaches us to use our orlog wisely.

Hail to Verdande, That Which Is Becoming, who teaches us to strengthen our maegan and hamingja.

Hail to Skuld, That Which Must Be, who teaches us to bravely accept our wyrd.

NINE WORLDS:

Hail to the wights of Asgard, mighty home of the Aesir.

Hail to the wights of Ljossalfheim, glimmering realm of the Light-elves.

Hail to the wights of Vanaheim, golden country of the Vanir.

Hail to the wights of Jotunheim, ancient home of the giant-folk.

Hail to the wights of Midgard, lively world of mortal men.

Hail to the wights of Muspellheim, burning world of the fire-giants.

Hail to the wights of Svartalfheim, shadowy realm of the Duergar and Dark-elves.

Hail to the wights of Niflheim, ice-rimed world of the frost-giants.

Hail to the wights of Helheim, the refuge of the dead.

(NORNS)

VANIR & AESIR:

Hail to Frey, Golden Lord of Vanaheim, who teaches us the value of sacrifice.

Hail to Gerda, Lady of the Walled Garden, who teaches us to find strength in solitude.

Hail to Freya, Lady of Brisingamen, who teaches us to understand our own self-worth.

Hail to Nerthus, Earth Mother, who teaches us to respect the power of the land and all of its creatures.

Hail to Njord, Lord of Ships, who teaches us to provide safe harbor for those who need it most of us.

Hail to Holda, Lady of Hearth and Home, who teaches us to take pride and pleasure in providing a haven for our families, our guests and ourselves.

Hail to Bragi, Skald of Skalds, who teaches us that things need not have happened to be true.

Hail to Idunna, Lady of the Orchard, who teaches us to seek health of body and vitality of spirit.

(NORNS)

SEA-ETINS:

Hail to Aegir, Ale-Brewer beneath the sea, who teaches us the value of hospitality.

Hail to Ran, Storm-bringing Ravager, who teaches us to respect the power of the sea and all of its creatures.

Hail to Kolga, Mermaid of Cold Waters, who teaches us to be still.

Hail to Duva, Mermaid of the Hidden Island, who teaches us to see through illusions to the reality behind.

Hail to Blodughadda, Mermaid of the Sea-Bound Rivers, who teaches us the mysteries of the blood.

Hail to Hronn, Mermaid of the Whirlpool, who teaches us to name and accept our greatest fears.

Hail to Hevring, Mermaid of the Surface Waves, who teaches us to name and accept our deepest sorrows.

Hail to Bylgja, Mermaid of the Rip Tide, who teaches us to face danger as a part of life.

Hail to Bara, Mermaid of the Big Wave, who teaches us patience in the face of slow but constant change.

Hail to Unn, Mermaid of the Tidal Rhythms, who teaches us to be mindful of the patterns and passage of time.

Hail to Himinglava, Mermaid of Fair Weather, who teaches us faith in the sunshine that follows the storm.

(NORNS)

JOTNAR:

Hail to Loki, Shape-shifter and Trickster, who teaches us humor in the face of the inevitable.

Hail to Angrboda, Chieftain of the Iron Wood, who teaches us loyalty towards our kith and kin.

Hail to Fenrir, Great Wolf, who teaches us to accept our inner monsters as we learn to control them.

Hail to Jormungand, World Serpent, who teaches us the value of setting boundaries.

Hail to Hati, Moon-Chasing Wolf, who teaches us to accept our most unwelcome duties.

Hail to Skoll, Sun-Chasing Wolf, who teaches us to find what joy we can in our unwelcome duties.

Hail to Sigyn, Lady of Endurance, who teaches us about love that knows no limits.

Hail to Narvi, eldest son of Sigyn and Loki, who teaches us to remember those who died too young.

Hail to Vali, youngest son of Sigyn and Loki, who teaches us compassion for those who suffer unjustly.

Hail to Sleipnir, eight-legged son of Loki, who teaches us to carry our burdens with good will.

Hail to Laufey, Lady of the Leafy Isle, who teaches us to be true to ourselves.

Hail to Farbauti, Flaming Arrow, who teaches us to use our wits as well as our might against our enemies.

Hail to Surt, Lord of Muspellheim, who teaches us that resurrection follows destruction.

Hail to Gunnlod, fair-voiced Lady Under the Mountain, who teaches us that from isolation can come beauty and joy.

Hail to Hyndla, Hag of the Northern Mountains, who teaches us to honor our bloodlines and ancestry.

Hail to Mengloth, Healer of Lyfja Mount, who teaches us to recognize when we cause pain to others.

Hail to Utgard-Loki, crafty Sorcerer-King, who teaches us when to speak and when to remain silent.

Hail to Mordgud, Guardian of Helheim’s Gate, who teaches us discernment between what is and what is not ours to protect.

Hail to Nidhogg, Gnawer at the Roots, who teaches us mindfulness about the things we cast aside and away.

Hail to Hela, Goddess of the Dead, who teaches us compassion for the souls of the departed.

(NORNS)

LAST BEADS:

Hail to Mani, Walker in the Darkness, who teaches us to seek peace in the shadows of the night.

Hail to Yggdrasil, World Tree, who teaches us to withstand the fire and frost of mortal existence, and to remain rooted in our faith and troth.

I usually end with additional prayers to specific deities and prayers on behalf of other people.

A Long-Delayed Book August 11, 2009

Be Thou My Hearth and Shield: Prayers in the Northern Tradition, which I compiled and edited, is finally available from Asphodel Press/Lulu. It’s a collection of prayers written by eighteen contributors (and myself) for different purposes and in honor of various deities of the Aesir, Jotnar and Vanir. It is intended as an offering to my gods, which to me is the most important reason to write a book of this nature. And I hope it encourages people to pray. Speaking to the gods is just as important as listening to Them, and the all-too-common attitude that prayer is something Pagans don’t do (because it’s associated with those other religions) saddens me.

I expect the book will be controversial in some regards and with some people, but fame (or infamy) wasn’t my goal when I put this book together, and those who would find fault with it are unlikely to buy it anyway.

Prayer II June 1, 2009

A while back, I described the set of prayer beads I have and the words I use with them. It’s my habit to go through the entire set and then hold them quietly and address the gods directly — someones one at a time, sometimes in groups.

That, to me, is what prayer truly is — speaking to the Holy Ones as if They were sitting right beside me. I see nothing disrespectful about this, for it is my experience that the Northern gods, at least, do not generally stand on ceremony with Their followers unless there’s a damn good reason. Therefore, I feel comfortable addressing Them in a familiar sort of way, although I do generally refer to each of Them directly as “my Lady,”  “my Lord” or by whatever other title of respect seems appropriate. So then, I asked myself recently, why am I fooling around with the beads at all if what comes afterward is the “real” praying?

What I’m really doing with my beads is more along the lines of meditation about the nature of the gods rather than speaking to Them. In other words, it’s a contemplative activity. When I say these prayers, I typically think about each god or goddess as I recite (out loud or silently) the line connected with His or Her bead, and I consider the connection between that deity’s personality and/or story, and the qualities I seek to foster in myself. For example:

In the name of Utgard-Loki, Sorcerer-King, may I know when to speak and when to remain silent.

I actually don’t have any kind of relationship with Utgard-Loki and I’ve never prayed directly to Him, but when I recite the above line I consider how, according to Gylfaginning, His cunning was evidently greater than that of both Thor and Loki combined — no small feat. I also think of what some of my more experienced friends have said of Utgard-Loki — that He is less crude and boisterous than those He rules, but His intelligence and reserve make Him more dangerous. As someone who is sometimes guilty of carelessly shooting my mouth off about things, I could stand to learn discernment. My approach to the rest of the bead prayers about other gods is much the same, even for deities I’m closer to, such as Loki and Hela.

I do find that after saying this set of prayers, I am in a much more receptive state of mind to receive true insight and perhaps even actual communication from Them than I might be otherwise. I also have an easier time speaking from the heart without letting myself get distracted. Sometimes, as I’m diligently praying through my beads, one of Them will issue the equivalent of an “ahem!” at which point I will stop and listen to what They have to say. So yes, the prayer beads are a very useful tool, besides being pretty and sparkly. There are many ways to draw closer to the world of the gods.

Hrafn has written an interesting series of essays about using  Northern Tradition prayer beads on his blog. linked from the sidebar to the right.

Happy June!

Anniversary April 27, 2009

As of today, I have been a god-consort for five years. My only regret is that it didn’t happen sooner. I was 32 before I even acknowledged His presence and subsequently, embarked on my current religious and spiritual life. A year after Loki came to me, I became His wife.

It has not always been easy, and sometimes it has even hurt, but the love I have experienced from my red-haired interloper, and the experience of learning to love Him back, has made my life so much richer that I cannot imagine being without it, or who I might have become had this never happened.

I have the capacity to love many people in many different ways, even romantically, but Loki is forever at the center of my heart and will always be. He is the great love of my life.

Draw me after You!
We will run in the fragrance of Your perfumes,
O heavenly Spouse!
I will run and not tire,
until You bring me into the wine-cellar,
until Your left hand is under my head
and Your right hand will embrace me happily
and You will kiss me with the happiest kiss of Your mouth.

– St. Clare of Assisi

My Joy: Mysticism January 12, 2009

My joy –
My Hunger –
My Shelter –
My Friend –
My Food for the journey –
My journey’s End –
You are my breath,
My hope,
My companion,
My craving,
My abundant wealth.
Without You — my Life, my Love –
I would never have wandered across these endless countries.
You have poured out so much grace for me,
Done me so many favors, given me so many gifts –
I look everywhere for Your love –
Then suddenly I am filled with it.
O Captain of my Heart
Radiant Eye of Yearning in my breast,
I will never be free from You
As long as I live.
Be satisfied with me, Love,
And I am satisfied.

– Rabi’a Al-’Adawiyya (717-801)

I love this poem. It captures so much of what I feel about Loki, and it is true that I have been the recipient of many gifts from His hands — even if some of those did have strings attached. I love other gods very much, but Laufey’s son holds my heart in His hands, no matter what other people may say or how much they disapprove. I am a mystic as well as a priestess and a nun; at times there is no clear boundary between the three roles.

I believe the mystic’s journey is essentially the same no matter what tools one uses along the way or which Beloved waits at the end of the road. I often see familiar things in the love songs and hymns of praise written by other mystics — Christian, Hindu, Muslim or Pagan — to their gods. I’m especially fond of Mirabai, daughter of a high-caste family who ran away to become a wandering holy woman, constantly writing poems in praise of Krishna, who she considered to be her husband. I can relate to her constant and often painfully sweet search for Him. The longing for the divine Beloved is sharper than any earthly hunger, and the joy that comes from nearness with one’s Beloved is more intoxicating than any earthly pleasure.

My understanding is that in other traditions,  the mystic seeks to rise above the physical world, the body and its needs, in order to unite with the Divine, which is seen as transcendent, even if the world is the creation of that same god(s). As a Pagan, however, I believe this faulty, magnificent world is holy in and of itself. I don’t wish to transcend the physical so much as incorporate it into the realm of all that I consider sacred and praiseworthy. And I don’t need to drag the spirits down to my level to be a Pagan mystic. The gods and spirits are already here, present in all that I see, touch, smell, taste and hear. My ancestors live in my flesh and blood and memory. The spirits of the land and sea, of the animals and plants that live in and around and beneath, are everywhere I look. And while one particular Personage is the fire that burns at the center of my heart, all the gods are never far away so long as I remember Them, tend Their harrows and holy places, care for the things They love and allow Them to speak to me when They have something to say. So long as I remember that while They inhabit Their own worlds, those worlds touch mine, and interconnect in ways I might overlook or mistake for something else, if I am careless or hasty to judge.

The trick is in learning how to know all that in a way which cannot be forgotten. Yes, it’s hard, because the world we live in is imperfect, frustrating, often frightening, and there are times (such as recently in my own life) where the gods seem remote, the spirits silent, and the heart beats in what seems an eternity of dreadful silence, and one feels totally disconnected and alone. Every mystic grapples with those feelings, too, though they are written about less often than when we are full of the power and ecstasy of the Holy Ones. It is not an easy path, and it is often a lonely and scary one. But whatever my other religious and spiritual responsibilities might be, I feel that for me at least, learning how to be a Pagan mystic is a worthwhile and rewarding task.